Coping

How do you cope in this ongoing health crisis? My family has been on community quarantine for more than a month now. I lost count already since our focus are on activities that we can do in order to keep the little of the old normal and at the same time, adjust what the new normal can bring.

On our children

The scenario is different for people or families that have minors to think about. 

Our coping went a bit easy on this part. Why? because our kids of 8 yrs. & 15 yrs. are natural homebodies. 

A routine brought balance to our kids' daily life. The routine is composed of different activities that will nurture their mental and physical health. 

For my 8 yr. old, I enrolled him in Kumon for enhanced reading and comprehension. He's given worksheets that he can practice everyday even on weekends. Then, I reinforce it with short story reading. I also added Math drills and basic home education like doing chores and it does not take a lot of his time. Playing is time for himself.

Since my 15 yr. old is an excellent student in school, I gave him this time to do what he wants, he's a teenager, there are expectations. But on the other side of things, we keep him busy by learning an instrument, he is a good bass guitar player and each day, his dad has set drills for him to do. Aside from that, he has his chores too. We also make him research on various issues, like history and we discuss his findings with him.

On a weekly basis, we treat the boys with take- out food. Our goal is to take a break from the usual by serving the kids their favorite food and to help the food delivery sector.

Though social exposure is an issue, me and my husband provide a level of relationship and understanding so they can relate to us. Gaming is a good way to bond. Movie night is also something to look forward to. Video calls with our families both here and abroad are cherished now more than ever.

On their Physical Health

This got me on the edge when this pandemic started. I remember mid- January of this year, when my youngest son got terribly sick. The fever was high, he had cough and colds. I was worried that he may have gotten the virus. The doctor ordered for some tests done, prescribed medicines and we did a lot of praying. After the doctor's visit, he became well and his lab results were normal, turned out to be regular flu. Moving forward, I made sure to treat each body ache, cough and colds as if we have the virus. Aside from their daily dose of multivitamins, I gave each a separate in- take of vitamin- C and loads of fresh calamansi juice everyday. It became a daily in- take and praise God! we've kept each one healthy since.

Our purpose is really to balance the home for the children while we also want to make them aware of what is happening now, why this is happening and what may come in the future. 

On a Personal Note

The reason why I made this post was because of the realization I made while I was talking to my mom the other day. The first whole month of being quarantined, I must admit, I was in denial. Then, I had panic attack. I was anxious. In any given opportunity for us to go out, I felt nervous and I buy whatever and spend on anything that is easy to cook, easy to open, non- perishable including toiletries. I have a selection of hotdogs in my freezer. I have marinated chicken from Chowking and Purefoods stored too. What's next? Jollibee Chicken Joy and McDonald's Chicken Nuggets? 

You know the saying "for every supply run, it feels like an episode from The Walking Dead', it does feel that way. It's the idea that we are not only protecting ourselves but the whole community.

Everytime my mom or sister would ask if there's anything we need, even if we have the essentials, I still give them a list. Next thing I know, my fridge was full, my freezer was overflowing and I can't close my pantry. Then it hit me, I am officially a panic buyer.

It was an eye- opener. It was a bit weird to be in "that" mind set where a slice of cake became so precious, when milktea became a total treat and when our long walk to the supermarket (supply run) was considered as leisure walk.  I was totally unaware with my state of mind. 

Now, I take it one day at a time, especially that ECQ protocols may change based on where we're at. 

Mid- April, the Quezon City Mobile Fresh Market paid our condo a visit. Every Tuesday the mobile market is going to be in our community. They have fresh vegetables, fruits, chicken, seafood and this week they will add grocery items. In other words, there's no point in panicking. The mobile fresh market became a blessing to us. It is something new, it is something to refresh our weekly life without risking ourselves. The solution to my panic mode came naturally, I'm very grateful for the mobile fresh market.

The next thing I went through was the stress. I understand that it's normal for most to feel stressed. I understand that this crisis is new for all.  It took a toll on me physically, I wanted to puke at times,  I got tired and drained like I worked my a_s off the whole day. It looked like I'm deprived of sleep even if I got all the rest needed. 

My husband was looking after my well- being. Even if he's busy working from home 8-to-5, his presence brought back my focus. He tries his best to take a break from work and secure things needed to be done. Like what I mentioned in my blog prior to this, my work never stops. The struggles that this pandemic has brought us, added to the tasks we do everyday. We needed to exert more effort for every dilemma we face. 

Coping

Finally, as we enter the extension of the quarantine, I was able to give myself some time and insert activities I can do to keep my mind off this crisis.

1. Cooking/ Eating

We eat a lot these days. I cooked dishes that I don't normally prepare. I cook Yangchow for breakfast almost everyday, we grill a lot even for a few pieces of meat or fish. I don't bake as much but we make pizza. And yes, I made Dalgona Coffee just for the heck of it because I don't drink instant coffee. 

2. Blogging

I know this has been out of the scene for a long time, but what the hell, I'm gonna blog and yes, it feels good to create again.

3. Urban Gardening

This is nothing new, I've been into urban gardening since we moved to our new condo. I grew basil, okra, eggplant, alugbati. But this time, I started growing seedlings. I'm enjoying the process. I did not buy the seeds, it's actual seeds from the fruits and vegetables we ate. I have ponkan, chives, green chili and I'm also propagating kangkong and alugbati.

4. Coloring

I color a lot, but sometimes it takes time for me to finish a page. Now, my focus is to be more creative in combining colors and yes, to finish a design in a week. 

My family, My parents

My boys give me the reason why I thrive everyday and I need to remain whole for them. They're the most important factor in surviving this crisis. My parents being the most vulnerable, has been part of my everyday life by checking on them, making sure that they're kept safe and healthy.

The realizations and learnings from this health crisis has enlightened us on things we never thought existed. The life we are capable of and the challenges we never thought we can face and solve immediately. The new normal will certainly change the future. It will be good because change has always been nurturing to one's being.

Foreseen Journey

I wonder how travel will be like when this is all over...

We were set to travel in Spring of 2022. Now, the whole pandemic global situation is shaping a different future for travel. Is it going to be a lot easier? reasonable? exciting? The goal of our next family trip is to teach our children the technicalities of going on a trip. Having an 18 yr. old by that time, it is important for him to learn and experience travel at that age.  From booking a flight, policies, insurance, airport transfers, accommodation and arriving safely to their desired destination. Later on, they will venture on their own, especially that we have a family abroad.

That was the plan...

But now, we need to think of a travel scenario with the effects of the current global situation. With all that is happening, the fate of my kids are at stake. Education, recreational activities, social, it's affected. I might end up home- schooling them if this will not end soon. Time keeps going, my kids are growing and suddenly, everything went to a halt, a reality we need to battle and endure as parents.

Travel plays a significant role in preparing them to be independent. It is the one thing we need to inject to our boys in order for them to thrive further and never to limit themselves. Our purpose as parents is clear, we will go for it. But the question is, will the next journey be fitting with the aftermath of Covid- 19?

With that, I’m grateful for the chance we were given to take the kids to visit our family in America before all this began. I pray, by the time we're set to roll out our next trip, the fruit of this pandemic will be for a safer, cleaner and a more secure travel experience that will welcome all adventurers back both sea and air.

THE GREAT EQUALIZER

I am a stay at home mom for 16 years. There were times when my status was questioned in a world where women normally work. The only difference is, my role stays and responsibility adds up based on the current situation. Work is 24/7 to secure, balance, and to “maintain” a life that will be healthy for the well- being of my 3 boys and a cat.

The challenge now is, I’m put in a situation where I have limited access serving my purpose everyday.  One of the obstacles that me and my family has to face, is being in a community, exposed where a big number of Covid- 19 cases in QC are from. My strong partnership with my other half is the major player in this pandemic. We work together. We function as one and that is vital in situations where we need to think first than react to things.

When this is over, all boils down to the basic principles of life, mind set tells it all. Though I don’t earn anything, but the tasks I have been doing in my 16 years as a stay at home mom, the gift of readiness, is paying off.

All of us are struggling, the world is suffering.

Still, we are blessed that at least one of us can go buy food even if we are on Extreme Community Quarantine. We move on, we stay healthy, we have means of communication and we still have access on basic commodities.

In other countries, people are being cut- off entirely so they stay home. Some are subject to 7 years in jail if they don’t follow. Some are beaten up as punishment for not following quarantine protocols and these are facts.

Here in the Philippines, even if most Filipinos are stubborn, we still have accessibility. It’s tougher, but we can still move around without getting hurt, let’s be Grateful.

This government is preparing aid for millions in the informal sector. Put somebody from the opposition, it will be the same. It’s a sad reality for this country. Leaders have come and go but the problem in the informal sector has remained the same. In all efforts made, execution won’t be perfect, but something is done. No one can carry out all these overnight, let’s just cooperate. Bashing and politicizing the situation will only make things more complicated.

Do what is told, abide with the existing rules, because even the WHO, the UN and the so- called super powers of the world, are challenged by this unseen enemy.

Regardless who is in government, this is not the time to say who can do better, who is the right person to lead. In the end, this is all on us. The wealthy, the poor, the middle- class, the first world down to the poorest nation, the young, the old, tax payers, the street dwellers, the sick, the healthy, the unemployed, no one is spared.

Our actions are as contagious as this sickness we are fighting. Share for the greater good, not for some selfish reason.

Patience, understanding, perseverance and HUMILITY are needed now more than anything else. Use this time to reconnect with God, make faith stronger it will protect you both body and soul.

-image-

This is happening for a valid reason. The world stopped, giving us a chance to redefine what life is all about.

Easy said than done right? But you see, life is what you make it. Our survival is based on how each one of us will accept and handle adversities such as a health crisis. Allow yourself to find the good in every situation.

You’re the artist of your own life. It is you who will foresee and project your future, it is your responsibility, not your chosen president, not the mayor you wanted, it’s you, just you and only you.

Outside Filipino, Panitikan

This post was created a few months ago. Please pardon for the late posting. I was hesitant at first, but this topic is very important to be seen on a wider perspective, so let me share my personal thoughts on it as a parent of 2 young boys.

Coming from a home where I have maintained English as the first language spoken, at the same time, live around the traditions and culture as Filipinos, I have to say, that yes, removing Filipino, Panitikan in the college curriculum is okay.

Who am I to say why it is okay? 

Read on...

The moment we came out in this world, regardless where you’re from, which country you grew up in, awareness of our roots begins from the very walls of our homes. Schools are institutions that give us the chance to broaden our idea of the said culture and background. They’re also the very same body that helps us practice and embrace these traditions outside our homes.

Taking the said subject out of the curriculum does not make us less of a Filipino, especially when it’s taken from a certain level of education where we should have embraced our nationality by heart and mind.

In my own opinion, this is just a step up, in preparation for the world that is globally competitive. Work begins with good communication skills and with English being the main language. As a matter of fact, a third language would be an asset.

3 languages, 4 or more, does not rip you off from your roots as a Filipino. The foundation during our primary and secondary days in school has made us love and appreciate who we are. Our history, our traditions to our beliefs are intact. 

As a parent of 2 boys, who will lead their own families too, I look at the bigger picture. I searched for the benefits instead.  It’s simplifying work load of students and putting their concentration on something that can be more useful now and in the future. 

In the end, our beloved institutions are still given the freedom, the choice whether to include Filipino, Panitikan in the school curriculum.

True Colors

Please be advised that this event I'm about to share happened in the past. I am in a better state now that's why I'm able to put it into context. I was hesitant to make this post or to put this entry online. But if I don't, then that makes me untruthful and worse, towards myself. We all go through adversities, what's life without it.

It was a tough 2 years for me. 

Staying positive is an important aspect I hang on to everyday to remain sane in my daily challenges. But with the bombardment of assumptions towards me as a person, as a mom, as a wife and just simply a girl who was able to make her first travel extraordinary,  the lighter side dimmed down. 

Change happened after our family vacation in the United States 3 years ago. There was a bit of a struggle going back to our daily grind after living there for almost half a year. While we were in America, I was warned by my husband of the changes that could happen, especially because I've experienced and seen what life is in a different perspective. 

The very reason why we made our long time plan to travel to the United States materialize was because our children were old enough to appreciate the experience. It was due time to see our family abroad and for the fact that it will take a long time before we can make such event happen again.

This travel unfolded easily for us, it felt right so we went on with it. The feeling was surreal because I was with my own family. The experience became extraordinary because it was a dream fulfilled with my children. It changed my perception in life. How to react on things, how to deal with people and how to be more sensitive of my surroundings. I became knowledgeable of things people most probably thought I'm not capable of. 

When we were finally home from our trip, I was so excited to tell stories about the things I learned and experienced to anybody who was ready to listen. But the reception was different, some got disappointed because we weren't able to meet their expectations. Others were not as enthusiastic just because "maybe",  they don't want to show they're excited for us. Some were truly thankful and happy for the gifts we got for them. 

As the days moved on, it turned into months and came a point when my other half had to leave for the United States again.  There were few who questioned our motives and most especially our capability to pursue the plan of moving to the United States. It came to a point when a certain individual even researched and tried to debunk our said goal.

We share these things because being part of the small group we trust, it is more likely expected that we will get support, that we will get encouragement, but that did not happen. Anyway, I survived this particular phase.  

In 2017, I functioned as a single mom for 6 months because my husband had to take care of things in the United States. I was at my best everyday to get by as a single parent. 

During this timeline, my role as a stay at home mom was also questioned. Why am I not working? Apparently for some, work, money and title are forms of empowerment. I greatly respect that, but no one can choose what I should do and tell me what I should contribute.  

For the past 15 years, I maintained a well- balanced home, I created a healthy environment for my family, and that's all on me and my husband. The sacrifices I  made are worth more than the money and power these people are suggesting. 

My purpose is to keep our family intact despite the distractions we are getting, despite the intruders that came into our family life. Support is the very foundation of every good deed. Once it crumbles down, it loses the whole essence and reason of doing the deed at all. 

Lessons and Realizations: 

Find your purpose and focus on it than on someone else's life. 

Plant memories beyond what money can buy and what will stick to those you love once you leave this world. 

The best thing about hard times and defining moments is you get to see the true colors of those around you. 

0o0

What happened for the past 2 years was a turning point for our family. A complete transition. We saw our plan of the future as something good, we were filled with so much hope. With the feedback we got, we thought, it is also something we should learn to let go.

Even with the absence of support, there were those who remained true. I commend the people who reached out and cheered us on.

I learned to play around it by standing firm. I remain quiet but I know when to treat a situation and demand respect in return.