True Colors

Please be advised that this event I'm about to share happened in the past. I am in a better state now that's why I'm able to put it into context. I was hesitant to make this post or to put this entry online. But if I don't, then that makes me untruthful and worse, towards myself. We all go through adversities, what's life without it.

It was a tough 2 years for me. 

Staying positive is an important aspect I hang on to everyday to remain sane in my daily challenges. But with the bombardment of assumptions towards me as a person, as a mom, as a wife and just simply a girl who was able to make her first travel extraordinary,  the lighter side dimmed down. 

Change happened after our family vacation in the United States 3 years ago. There was a bit of a struggle going back to our daily grind after living there for almost half a year. While we were in America, I was warned by my husband of the changes that could happen, especially because I've experienced and seen what life is in a different perspective. 

The very reason why we made our long time plan to travel to the United States materialize was because our children were old enough to appreciate the experience. It was due time to see our family abroad and for the fact that it will take a long time before we can make such event happen again.

This travel unfolded easily for us, it felt right so we went on with it. The feeling was surreal because I was with my own family. The experience became extraordinary because it was a dream fulfilled with my children. It changed my perception in life. How to react on things, how to deal with people and how to be more sensitive of my surroundings. I became knowledgeable of things people most probably thought I'm not capable of. 

When we were finally home from our trip, I was so excited to tell stories about the things I learned and experienced to anybody who was ready to listen. But the reception was different, some got disappointed because we weren't able to meet their expectations. Others were not as enthusiastic just because "maybe",  they don't want to show they're excited for us. Some were truly thankful and happy for the gifts we got for them. 

As the days moved on, it turned into months and came a point when my other half had to leave for the United States again.  There were few who questioned our motives and most especially our capability to pursue the plan of moving to the United States. It came to a point when a certain individual even researched and tried to debunk our said goal.

We share these things because being part of the small group we trust, it is more likely expected that we will get support, that we will get encouragement, but that did not happen. Anyway, I survived this particular phase.  

In 2017, I functioned as a single mom for 6 months because my husband had to take care of things in the United States. I was at my best everyday to get by as a single parent. 

During this timeline, my role as a stay at home mom was also questioned. Why am I not working? Apparently for some, work, money and title are forms of empowerment. I greatly respect that, but no one can choose what I should do and tell me what I should contribute.  

For the past 15 years, I maintained a well- balanced home, I created a healthy environment for my family, and that's all on me and my husband. The sacrifices I  made are worth more than the money and power these people are suggesting. 

My purpose is to keep our family intact despite the distractions we are getting, despite the intruders that came into our family life. Support is the very foundation of every good deed. Once it crumbles down, it loses the whole essence and reason of doing the deed at all. 

Lessons and Realizations: 

Find your purpose and focus on it than on someone else's life. 

Plant memories beyond what money can buy and what will stick to those you love once you leave this world. 

The best thing about hard times and defining moments is you get to see the true colors of those around you. 

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What happened for the past 2 years was a turning point for our family. A complete transition. We saw our plan of the future as something good, we were filled with so much hope. With the feedback we got, we thought, it is also something we should learn to let go.

Even with the absence of support, there were those who remained true. I commend the people who reached out and cheered us on.

I learned to play around it by standing firm. I remain quiet but I know when to treat a situation and demand respect in return.