I'm Still Here...

29 April 2009

I have been on break for the past 2 days. I was in a Recollection. That is, by myself and with myself. I found time to finally think and meditate on my life being married for 5 years. Questioning myself, of the accomplishments I made. My contributions to society and to myself. It humbled me. I was branded to be a high-maintenance woman. It's not a healthy situation for us ladies. I thought, staying at home would help me overcome that. But I got more into it.

I was a spoiled wife "as I look at it". Simply "maybe" because my husband wants me to be happy. I thank and appreciate his every thought and action just to answer my every desire.

I realized that I started family life without anything at all. We lived in an apartment where it floods up to the waist, where we have annoying neighbors. All I have then, was my son and my life as a first time mother and wife. I don't have internet, I don't have a camera, I gave up my social life, I stayed at home 24/7. I was even criticize by people who thinks that being a SAHM will make life not as enjoyable. That being a SAHM bites. And I am still happy.

I have my very own mother to prove all that nonsense is just a rant of another person who wanted the life of a SAHM so badly.

To continue, I want my old life back. And call me stupid, one move I made to start with, was giving my camera to my Dad.

I didn't feel bad. I handed it over to somebody who has the passion for it. And besides, I can still borrow it (LOL). It's not yet the end of the world.

It feels good. I mean, detaching myself from something I love. I can now say, that I accomplished something. I am slowly moving away from being an expensive person to a simpler Being.

I feel free, I felt that I'm fully nourished again. And it doesn't end there. There are some more things and part of my interests that are needed to let go of.

These realizations were made with a conversation with my Mother. The best way to preserve a good life is by staying simple even if you have everything. I learned a lot for the past 2 weeks.

Not that something happened. It's just me working my way to forever of being a married person with kids. And it's not my first time to be this sentimental...We all have our moments.

To end...

I'm happy that I opened myself again for change. My husband was very proud of me. I was expecting that he will get disappointed. He bought that camera. He even told me that it was a noble thing to do.
Noble or not. I feel like a human being overhauled for something even better.

I still owe some of you guys an entry for the awards and tags you shared with me...Will post it soon! Hugs!


Twinkie said...

:) "The best way to preserve a good life is by staying simple even if you have everything." - This is one of my lovely MIL's thoughts to live by and my husband is also teaching me to live it. And yes, it is sooo true.

Mag 5 years na rin kami ng asawa ko this year. :)Kudos to you for always looking on the brighter side. *Hugs!*

Yummybite said...

hugs for you enchie. by letting go of things that mean so much to you, the experience is already priceless.

i am also high-maintenance but with my hubby, everyday is a lesson learned as he teaches me to live simply. it's a work-in-progress for me.

pehpot said...

It's glad to hear from you again..

I have to disagree with learning from yuor own expereince is stupidity hehe.. I believe every one of us have different situations kaya experiences are all not the same, you can only learn through hands on, as y mom always put it, para ka matuto kailangan mo magmatrikula at least in the end you can always charge it to experience (o hala walang annual fee ito at interest) :)

Keep smiling Enchie :)

☆Willa☆ said...

you are so right about people ranting about bieng SAHM, deep within their heart, they knew they wanted to be one. and simple things I learned it a hard way. I learned about living in simplicity when I went back to Manila and stay there for a while and saw all this people living their life everyday, I've never been appreciative in my life, when we move here in Canada, we basically start from scratch but I don't care, I don't regret leaving our big house in US, I'm happy inside our little apartment now with my boys.Just like you, I am counting my blessings everyday and forever grateful to it.

Enchie said...

Edited removed some content :D

joy said...

alam mo enchie tama ka dun, those people who criticize you for being a stay at home wife are actually envious of you, gusto rin nila to be like you. i am not yet married but if i'm going to have my own family in the future , if my husband can support us, i would really want to stay at home and be the one to really take care and rear my child. yun din yung dream ng mama ko to be a stay at home wife but that didn't become a reality because of financial reasons. it's really good to take some time off to reflect on things and realized how much bless we are in life.

Meryl (proud pinay) said...

hi sis, you are sooo blessed!
your husband ay napaka bait and sweet.
God bless your family

Mira said...

I guess when one gets married she should be ready for the changes to come. There are things to compromise with for the sake of the union and family. I for one has given up a lot, one of which is my career.

Though sometimes out of overwhelming tasks of being a SAHM in America without any help make me toy with the idea that I would rather work than stay home, I would instead pause and be grateful that I'm blessed with a hubby who is able to support us so I don't need to work. That way I can enjoy and cherish every moment with my son.

Anyway, it's good that you are having this realization and applying it too. You are blessed to have a good husband who can ably provide and to the point of getting 'spoiled' too LOL. But it's good to also set some boundaries.

fedhz said...

Hi, Mommy Ench.. I was wondering what happened to you. hehe. I also want to have some time with myself. Kaso ayoko naman iwan si Yz.

What you did is very courageous and "noble".. I'm very proud of you. I am learning through yours and other experiences as well and make me realize a lot of things in my life that I should be thankful for.

Like I always tell you, you're one of my inspirations.. thank you!

Chris said...

hi enchie! God is molding you and shaping you to become the person He wants you to be :D way to go!!!

kikamz said...

It's good to detach ourselves from the world every now and then. This way, we get to see the bigger picture and see where we stand. I feel happy for you Ench that married and family life has made you a better and happy person. And do not doubt whether you have been a good wife and mother because YOU are, even without prior experience. I think being a SAHM is a personal decision that we unconsciously made along the way and am glad that these acts of detachment from the "material" world has humbled you.

As I read this post, I am also humbled by the fact that it reminded me that life need not be comfortable for it to be a meaningful and happy one. Thanks for the reminder, my dear friend.